Funhouse
by ReneeGoetz
Summary: My first song fic, set during New Moon to the tune of Funhouse by Pink. Bella goes to see the Cullen house, but instead of turning away when she senses it's empty, she decides to take a look inside. Please review!


No worries. I'm still working on Family Ties. I'm not so into song fics. But I was drinking a Four Loko after a particularly stressful few days, and Funhouse by P!nk came on my iTunes. And I just thought… Damn, Bella's a pushover. Really. I kinda want to just slap her. I'd so be trashing that house if it were me. So this was born. It's set during New Moon, when Bella drives to the Cullen house after they all leave. This is my first song fic ever. Please be gentle! Enjoy and please review. Not beta'd, sorry for any mistakes. Thank you!

**Disclaimer:** _Twilight_, Charlie and Bella Swan, and the Cullens all belong to Stephanie Meyer. Funhouse belongs to P!nk and her writers. No harm is intended. I'm just inspired.

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><p>"<em>I approached the barren, vacant face slowly, my truck rumbling out a comforting roar behind me. I stopped when I got to the porch stairs, because there was nothing here. No lingering sense of their presence… of his presence. The house was solidly here, but it meant little. Its concrete reality would not counteract the nothingness of the nightmares."<em>

-Bella, New Moon

"_It will be as if I'd never existed,"_ his voice reverberated through my head. _Never?_ Then why am I staring at your house?

Liar.

If they really were gone, it wouldn't hurt to have a look, would it?

It shouldn't hurt at all. But it did.

I stepped on the bottom porch step, trying desperately to hold the hole in my chest closed.

Just one look. Through the window. I won't even touch anything.

I took another step. And then another. Before I knew it, I was on the porch itself, muscle memory automatically putting my hand on the doorknob.

I shook my head and pulled my hand back. I couldn't go in. I just wanted to have look. But, what if… Would they bother to lock the door?

The hell with it.

I stuck my hand out, gripped the knob, and with a deep, steadying breath, turned it.

It opened.

As the door swung inward, I hesitated. Only for a moment. And then I bolted in, afraid it would turn out to be a mirage after all.

_I dance around this empty house__  
><em>_Tear us down, throw you out__  
><em>_Screaming down the halls__  
><em>_Spinning all around and now we fall__  
><em>

I was in the main room, staring at the piano. _His_ most favorite piece of furniture. I was suddenly struck with, not sorrow, but anger.

How _dare _he! Like he never existed? Life since they'd left had been anything but. It had been agony. Sorrow. _Regret._ Someone had to pay. It wasn't fair.

The piano was a sturdy object. There wasn't much at hand that could effectively crush it. But there was a nice, small bronze statue that could serve as a decent hammer on a nearby end table…

I flew into a blind rage. Blind, because I don't remember it. The bronze figure hitting the floor by my feet brought me back to the present. I realized my throat was sore. I must have been screaming. My eyes stung fiercely.

_Pictures framing up the past__  
><em>_Your taunting smirk behind the glass__  
><em>_This museum full of ash__  
><em>_Once a tickle, now a rash_

The piano wasn't in pieces like I wanted, save the white chips of the keys sprayed about, but it was artistically dented, and would probably never sound right again. Good.

I was vaguely aware of dancing up the staircase.

I'd lost it. There was no music, except the remnants in my head, which were quickly disappearing. And yet, I _danced_ up the stairs.

Pictures of the family still hung on the walls. I paused halfway to the second floor and studied one. It was a group shot. There was no telling who had taken it, but knowing their speed, someone could have pushed the button and ran to the group before the camera took the shot.

Or they could have set a timer.

All seven of the Cullens stood together in the living room. They looked… _happy_. Even Jasper wore a small smirk. _He_ displayed his famous crooked-

My fist made contact with the glass, the shards raining down on the steps. I didn't even feel the pain at first. Until I saw the blood. And then the wooziness nearly overtook the pain. I closed my eyes and pushed the nausea aside, gripping onto the pain. I wasn't a masochist, but I wanted to remember this, to use this, so that tomorrow when I felt that gaping hole ripping my chest open because missing _him_- No, Edward. His name is Edward- was so unbearable, I would remember that he caused this. _Edward_ caused this pain.

I continued up the stairs. 

_This used to be a Funhouse__  
><em>_But now it's full of evil clowns_

Emmett was always a big clown. But he left me, too.

_It's time to start the countdown__  
><em>_I'm gonna burn it down, down, down__  
><em>_I'm gonna burn it down_

_9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, fun_

I reached the second floor and continued to dance down the hallway, peeking into rooms as I went. Everything was left exactly the same. If not for the dust, they could have just walked out ten minutes ago. It really was like museum, everything preserved and on display.

I stopped in a doorway. Alice and Jasper's room. Would she have left her precious wardrobe? I crossed the room slowly and stopped in front of the closet. _She was supposedly your best friend_, I told myself. _She didn't even say goodbye._

I nodded to myself, reached forward, and opened the closet. It was nearly as big as the bedroom itself, but I knew this already. And it was, indeed, full of clothes. Designer clothes, tags still dangling from the sleeves, covered every inch of wall, shoes of all colors and styles lined the floor. Everything was in perfect order. But it wouldn't stay like that for long.

_Echoes knocking on locked doors__  
><em>_All the laughter from before__  
><em>_I'd rather live out on the street__  
><em>_Than in this haunted memory_

I dropped another armload of clothes out the window into the backyard. If only I could forget. As if he never existed, my ass! It hurt every damn day. And they had _all_ left. All of them, without a word. No phone call, no e-mail, not even a text message saying, "Take care, Bella." Nothing. _A clean break,_ Edward had said. But everywhere I looked, something was reminding me of the Cullens. 

_I've called the movers, called the maids__  
><em>_We'll try to exorcise this place__  
><em>_Drag my mattress to the yard__  
><em>_Crumble, tumble house of cards_

I stood in front of the door I most dreaded, on the third floor. I had saved this one for last, not only because it was the highest up, but because it was Edward's room. I took an extra moment in the hallway. The door had been left closed. I knew it most likely looked just as it had the last time I'd seen it, but what if it had been cleared out? Could I handle seeing that everyone else had left their possessions, not completely eliminating the possibility that they'd come back, but Edward had taken everything, determined to never return?

I had to handle it. I had to grow up and face this head on. For my own good, for Charlie's peace of mind. I knew he worried about me. I had to show him I was okay, that I could get through this; could get _over_ it.

I slowly turned the doorknob. When it wouldn't turn anymore, I gently pushed it open, letting it swing wide.

Exactly the same. The sofa, the music, nothing had been moved. Everything was exactly in its place.

I almost felt worse. I swallowed down my sorrow and walked to the glass wall and looked out. Three stories up. Looking down and to the side I could make out the pile of clothes, pictures and other mementos I had dumped out of the other windows. It wasn't too far. I idly wondered how heavy that sofa was. I looked at the latch on the window, wondering if I should open it first.

Nah. More poetic this way.

I moved to the other side of the room, positioning myself on one end of the sofa. It was almost perfectly lined up with the glass. I braced myself.

_One_.

This was for leaving me in the forest. Alone.

_Two._

For breaking a hole in my heart so big and so deep, it didn't leave enough to give anything to anyone else.

_Three._

This was for breaking _me._

I took a deep breath and ran. I ran into the sofa and pushed with all the strength I could muster up, digging up every memory of every lie he'd told me. Every time he said he'd loved me. Every night spent watching over me as I slept.

The sofa slid easily, much easier than I expected it to. I pushed harder, pushed it across the floor, right to the window wall, and kept my feet moving. With a loud and satisfying crash, the sofa was through the glass and tilting over the edge, falling to the ground below. I skidded to a stop at the edge, watching as the sofa hit the ground and cracked into two pieces. But it wasn't enough. I turned to face the room again, the only prominent feature being the music collection.

Adrenaline pumping, I ran to the shelves and began pulling CDs down. I scooped them off the shelves and tossed them carelessly on the floor, a dozen at a time. Soon, more were on the floor than on the shelves and the plastic cases cracked loudly as I stepped on them. I liked the sound. I threw the last of the CDs onto the floor and started to jump on them, like a child jumping in a puddle.

"I hate you!" I screamed at the CDs. "I hate you for what you did! I hope someone does the same to you one day!"

The CDs were now in pieces scattered everywhere. Then I went for the records. All the old albums, lined up and organized. They went out the broken window like Frisbees. I tried to toss them further and further, but after that became repetitious, I just scooped them up by the armload and dumped them out the window.

Panting to catch my breath and supporting myself by leaning on the window frame (careful to avoid the glass shards), I turned to look at the room again. It was thoroughly trashed. I grinned to myself. Mission accomplished.

I turned to look at the mess outside.

_Mission _almost _accomplished_, I amended.

I went downstairs headed to my truck. I needed the emergency kit.

_This used to be a Funhouse  
>But now it's full of evil clowns<br>It's time to start the countdown  
>I'm gonna burn it down, down, down<em>

This used to be a Funhouse  
>But now it's full of evil clowns<br>It's time to start the countdown  
>I'm gonna burn it down, down, down<br>I'm gonna burn it down

9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, fun

I'm crawling through the doggy door  
>My key don't fit my life no more<br>I'll change the drapes, I'll break the plates  
>I'll find a new place, burn this fucker down<p>

I popped open the plastic box Charlie had insisted I carry around inside my truck and dumped it unceremoniously on the passenger seat. Matches, matches, there had to be matches!

Didn't there?

I sorted through the pile some more, but all I came up with were two flares. I grinned again. This would do.

I ran around the house to the backyard with the flares, to the piles on the lawn. I dragged the sofa over to where the majority of items lay and started stacking. Taking one last, long look at everything I was about to destroy, I lit the first flare. As it burned bright pink in my hand, I looked over Alice's expensive French designer outfits and Jasper's original Confederate flag; Esme's blueprints and several paintings from Carlisle's office; Emmett's XBOX and Rosalie's antique hairbrush collection; all piled on top of Edward's sofa, with an armload of CDs and vinyl. One last look before tossing the flare right into the middle of everything.

As the fire slowly caught and began to engulf everything, I stepped back to a smaller pile I had set aside. Mostly books, some more paintings and clothes. After all, this fire would need me to feed it something to keep it going.

_Do, do, do, do, do, do, do__  
><em>_Do, do, do, do, do, do, do__  
><em>_Do, do, do, do, do, do, do__  
><em>_Do, do, do, do, da, da, da, da_

_Do, do, do, do, do, do, do__  
><em>_(9, 8)__  
><em>_Do, do, do, do, do, do, do__  
><em>_(7, 6)__  
><em>_Do, do, do, do, do, do, do__  
><em>_(5, 4, 3)__  
><em>_Do, do, do, do, do, do, do__  
><em>_(2, 1)_

_This used to be a Funhouse__  
><em>_But now it's full of evil clowns__  
><em>_It's time to start the countdown__  
><em>_I'm gonna burn it down, down, down_

I was dancing again. It was getting dark now, the sun had set. I danced around the now raging bonfire, tossing items in at random. I couldn't keep the huge grin off my face, laughing nearly maniacally at times. I wasn't thinking about all the fun times I'd be missing out on anymore. Or how much I'd miss them. I was letting them go, _had_ let them go. Now, there was only my future to focus on. And no damned sparkling vampires to hold me back.

_This used to be a Funhouse__  
><em>_But now it's full of evil clowns__  
><em>_It's time to start the countdown__  
><em>_I'm gonna burn it down, down, down__  
><em>_I'm gonna burn it down__  
><em>

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><p>So… What did you think?<p>

Please leave a review, even if you hated it but especially if you, for some reason, liked it.

Read on!

_Ren_


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